Understanding attachment styles can significantly impact how we connect with others, whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or family dynamics. Attachment theory, originally developed by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, explains how early experiences shape our adult relationships. The article "13 Best Books on Attachment Styles" from BecomingTheSelf.com presents a curated list of insightful Attachment Theory Book exploring attachment theory. Each Attachment Styles Book recommendation includes a brief overview and reasons to read.If you want to explore attachment theory further, these 13 books provide expert insights, scientific research, and actionable strategies to help you build secure, fulfilling relationships. What Are Attachment Styles? Attachment styles describe how individuals form emotional bonds based on their early experiences. The four primary attachment styles are: Secure Attachment: Comfortable with intimacy and independence. Anxious Attachment: Craves reassurance and fears abandonment. Avoidant Attachment: Struggles with emotional closeness and prefers independence. Disorganized Attachment: A mix of anxious and avoidant tendencies, often due to past trauma. By identifying your attachment style, you can work toward healthier emotional connections. The following books offer valuable tools for understanding and improving attachment patterns. 1. Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller This bestselling book provides a straightforward introduction to attachment theory and practical advice for improving relationships. Key Takeaways: Explains secure, anxious, and avoidant attachment styles. Includes self-assessment quizzes to identify your attachment style. Offers relationship strategies based on attachment compatibility. 2. The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole Heller This book explores how attachment wounds shape relationships and provides healing techniques to move toward secure attachment. Key Takeaways: Discusses how childhood experiences affect adult relationships. Introduces mindfulness and body-based techniques for healing. Offers exercises to develop emotional security. 3. Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin Tatkin integrates attachment theory with neuroscience to help couples build emotionally secure relationships. Key Takeaways: Explains how brain chemistry influences attachment behavior. Offers exercises to foster intimacy and trust. Guides couples toward a "secure functioning" relationship. 4. The Attachment Effect by Peter Lovenheim Lovenheim examines how attachment styles influence various aspects of life, including friendships and careers. Key Takeaways: Uses real-life case studies to illustrate attachment dynamics. Explores attachment patterns beyond romantic relationships. Provides insights for improving emotional security. 5. Polysecure by Jessica Fern This book applies attachment theory to non-monogamous relationships, offering strategies for maintaining emotional security. Key Takeaways: Explores attachment styles in polyamorous relationships. Provides tools for creating security in multiple partnerships. Encourages self-awareness and open communication. 6. Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson A leader in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Sue Johnson offers a science-based approach to strengthening relationships. Key Takeaways: Teaches the importance of emotional responsiveness. Includes guided conversations to improve communication. Helps couples heal attachment wounds and strengthen bonds. 7. The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen This workbook provides exercises to help individuals and couples recognize and improve their attachment styles. Key Takeaways: Includes self-assessments and guided exercises. Helps readers identify behaviors linked to insecure attachment. Provides actionable steps to foster secure attachment patterns. 8. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk While not solely focused on attachment, this book explores how trauma affects relationships and emotional well-being. Key Takeaways: Examines the link between trauma and insecure attachment. Introduces therapy techniques for emotional healing. Explains the brain’s response to trauma and attachment patterns. 9. The General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini & Richard Lannon This book blends neuroscience and psychology to explore the biological foundation of love and attachment. Key Takeaways: Discusses how the brain processes attachment and emotions. Explains the impact of early experiences on adult relationships. Highlights the importance of secure bonds for mental well-being. 10. Loving Like You Mean It by Ron Frederick Frederick emphasizes emotional intelligence and vulnerability as key components of secure attachment. Key Takeaways: Encourages emotional awareness and openness. Provides exercises for overcoming relationship fears. Helps readers develop healthier, deeper connections. 11. How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich This book explores how childhood attachment patterns shape adult relationships and offers tools for fostering secure love. Key Takeaways: Identifies different love styles based on attachment theory. Helps couples recognize and change negative relationship patterns. Provides strategies for deepening emotional bonds. 12. Avoidant by Jeb Kinnison Designed for individuals with avoidant attachment, this book provides guidance on overcoming emotional detachment. Key Takeaways: Explains avoidant attachment traits and behaviors. Offers strategies for developing emotional intimacy. Helps avoidant individuals break free from relational avoidance. 13. Secure Love by Julie Menanno Written by a licensed therapist, Secure Love serves as a step-by-step guide to shifting from insecure to secure attachment. Key Takeaways: Teaches emotional regulation and healthy communication skills. Helps readers overcome fears of intimacy. Provides a structured approach to developing secure relationships. Final Thoughts Understanding attachment styles is a powerful step toward improving emotional well-being and building healthier relationships. These 13 books provide expert insights, psychological research, and practical exercises to help readers recognize their attachment patterns and work toward secure connections. Whether you want to heal from past experiences, strengthen your romantic relationships, or better understand yourself, these books offer the knowledge and tools to transform your relational life.